Family members play crucial roles in a Jewish wedding, contributing to the joyous celebration and supporting the couple throughout the ceremony and the planning process. Let’s explore the roles of family members at a Jewish wedding. There are going to be plenty of things to do before the wedding, but once things have started it’s all hands on deck for the family too.
- Blessing of the Bride: In any traditional Jewish wedding the bride sits on her “kalla chair” and people approach to offer blessings and well-wishes. The family, particularly the women from the family, will also come around and join her for portions of this.
- Walking to the Chuppah: In the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, the groom is escorted to the chuppah (wedding canopy) by both his parents. This symbolizes the support and blessing of the family as he takes this significant step in his life, and in turn their part in welcoming a now-expanding family.
- Bride’s Procession: The bride’s entrance is a significant and emotional moment wherein she is escorted down the aisle by both of her parents or other family members. This walk signifies the transfer of responsibility and care from her family to her soon-to-be husband’s family.
- Bride Circling the Groom: After the bride reaches the chuppah, there is a strong custom where the bride circles the groom seven times along with her mother. This act represents the bride breaking down the walls around her groom reminiscent of breaking down the walls of Jericho, emphasizing the abscence of barriers between the couple spiritually and emotionally. The mother guides her daughter in this process while the the couple each offer their own personal prayers in this powerful moment.
- Role of the Shomer/et: In Jewish weddings, the couple may observe a custom of using a shomer and shomeret. Before the wedding, a designated person is responsible for guarding each member of the couple separately to ensure they do not see each other for at least a week before the wedding, and particularly on the day of the wedding to make always be close by to ensure no one gets cold feet. This practice is meant to enhance the anticipation and sanctity of the wedding day. The role of the shomer and shomeret roughly resembles a best man and maid of honor respectively, also helping with arranging pre-wedding celebrations, carrying the ring, and other things to help run facilitate a smooth wedding day. A sibling, especially one who is not yet married, is often entrusted with this job.
- Role in the Planning Process: Family members often play a significant role in the planning process leading up to the wedding day. They may be involved in selecting the venue, arranging catering, managing guest lists, and assisting with other logistical arrangements. In some cases, family members may contribute financially to the wedding expenses.
- Participation in Rituals: During the wedding ceremony, close family members may be invited to participate in various rituals. For instance, they may be called upon to recite blessings from the sheva brachot under the chuppah or after the meal, and family should get some of the first dances, and get to sit down during all the shticks, little silly acts and performances to bring joy to the couple.
- Emotional Support: Family members play a vital role in providing emotional support and encouragement to the couple on their wedding day. They offer blessings, well-wishes, and prayers for a happy and prosperous marriage.
Jewish weddings are a beautiful union of tradition, family, and celebration. Family members are actively involved in different aspects of the wedding, and their presence and support contribute to the meaningfulness of the occasion for the couple.
